DC: Cafe Green

Last morning in DC started with the usual waffle run.

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Then we said goodbye to Kyle’s dad and headed to the National Geogrpahic museum.

Kyle and I are total Nat Geo nerds, and when I found out they had a special Titanic exhibit I was dead set on seeing it.

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They had a ton of stuff from the movie set, lots of footage of interviews from the divers who first found the wreckage, and a video recreation of the ship going down.

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I never knew James Cameron was a deep sea explorer.  Not only has he broken records for (quite lengthy) solo dives to the Challenger Deep (the deepest part of the Mariana Trench), but he’s also a member of the NASA Advisory Council.  Oh and he makes movies too.

After that we headed over to the National History Museum.  I went from dry, warm and happy to wet, freezing and miserable in the 10 minute walk from the cab to the museum entrance.  Can someone please tell me why there isn’t wheelchair access at every entrance??  Luckily geeky things like fossils and science really perk me up.  But soon hunger was approaching.

I wanted to go to Java Green for lunch, but they are closed on Sundays.  Fortunately they have a sister location, Cafe Green.

I waited to go to this place with just Kyle because it’s exclusively vegan (and high raw), which is a bit too hippie for Kyle’s grandma.  So while Kyle’s mom and grandma stayed behind at the Natural History museum, Kyle and I took the metro up to Dupont Circle.

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Of all the places in DC, this was the one I was most looking forward to trying…and it was also the place that disappointed me the most.

Don’t give me a menu and then tell me only 15% of it is available.  To think, if we had arrived just 15 minutes earlier we would have had access to the entire four pages of food.  It probably would have changed my opinion of the place completely.  But given our extremely late lunch time (3 pm), we were stuck with the one page of in-between foods.

I’m guessing the chef leaves between lunch and dinner, in which case, I implore Cafe Green to just close the kitchen for a few hours.  If they really insist on staying open, maybe just be a coffee bar from 3 to 5 pm?

Anyway.

The second strike came when I realized how little our waiter knew about the food, including the ingredients.

If you’re going to note allergy info on a menu, you should probably understand how and why certain dishes are made.

I asked what the gluten free bread was made out of and he said “it’s like whole wheat”.  Ummmm, I hope not??

I also asked what kinds of tea they had and he said “regular”.  Huh?  I followed up with a guess “black tea?” and he said yes.  So I ordered that.  But then later he returned to say it wasn’t black tea, it was fruity (mango or passion green).  No thanks.

We got our 4th choice appetizer to start.

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Raw crackers and dip.

Dip meant guacamole.  In a tiny cup thimble.  There was nothing remarkable about it and it was definitely too small of a portion for the price.

The crackers were quite good actually.  Not too bland, not too spicy.  Great crispy crunch.

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For lunch I got the Avocado Temptation sandwich which had grilled tempeh, avocado, baby spinach, tomato and “mozzarella” served on panini-pressed whole wheat bread with Smooth Java Sauce.

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This was just plain sad.  Bread that had been manhandled.  Un-seasoned tempeh.  And so small.

What happened to the smooth java sauce??

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The avo and faux cheese saved it from being sent back (kidding – I’d never do that even if I absolutely hated something).  I don’t have much else to say though.

Kyle’s cheeseburger was fine, but also unremarkable.

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No dips or spreads.  Whatever.

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He said he only enjoyed it because he loves grilled onions.

If you check out the full menu, you’ll see why this lunch was especially frustrating.  Had I been unaware of all the other goodies I wasn’t able to get, I may not have been as disappointed by my order.  But alas, I saw each and every delicious morsel I couldn’t have.

Due to the failures in the entree department, we had no faith in Cafe Green and passed on the raw desserts altogether.  We finished, paid, and caught a cab home.

To anyone considering Cafe Green, go during the normal dining hours so you have the chance to try what you really want.

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Comments (16)

  1. Red Deception

    That royally sucks. If they are going to be open during that time, might as well keep the lunch menu going until supper starts. Geeze.

  2. Katie @ Peace Love & Oats

    Hahaha “It’s like whole wheat” I would have given him the weirdest look! Hopefully he was new…

  3. Karen

    That’s so sad! I’ve been to Java Green for lunch and absolutely love it; seems strange that their sister restaurant would be so pathetic.

  4. Gena

    So my experiences at Cafe Green didn’t deter you? 🙂

    Yes, they never have a full menu. Ever. It’s annoying as heck. Since it’s really the only dedicated vegan spot in town, I’ve grown fond of CG, and appreciate it for what it is, but I would never recommend it to a DC tourist. Ever!

  5. Chelsea @ Designs on Dinner

    A National Geographic Museum? That sounds so amazing! Too bad about the cafe–I prefer when restaurants have separate menus if you’re not allowed to order specific food. That way, at least you can’t see what you’re missing!

  6. Lisa

    I am a complete geo nerd as well! Haha, I love everything about the Titanic. When the 100th anniversary was coming up, I watched about 6 different documentaries and shows about it. That exhibition sounds so cool!! That is disappointing about the restaurant boo, I kind of feel bad for the waiter though because he clearly was not properly trained. Which is sad when restaurants do not train properly, makes it annoying for the customers they serve!

  7. mina

    I’m sorry you had such a terrible experience at cafe green, Im actually supposed to go to DC in a couple of weeks and that was one of the places I planned on going to. If I do go I guess Ill have to make sure I go during their “normal meal” hours.

    I have a question though, I noticed that you said that you would “never” send food back to the kitchen, and I was very surprised, is there a particular reason why? I only ask because I strongly believe that if you are paying for food and it is served in a way that is unnacceptable or not in line with the description of what was promised, or simply very unsatisfactory, you should send it back. that way the kitchen will know that there was a problem with the dish, and you won’t feel ripped off and upset over wasting your money. That is just my opinion on the matter, I’d love to hear yours!

  8. Elise (Post author)

    i agree with you wholeheartedly and i’d never judge anyone who would send their food back at all. as a paying customer, you deserve exactly what you’re paying for. im just too much of a wuss to actually do it! im sure there would be an exception (like if a plate of ribs were set before me) but otherwise i usually just do my best to work around it. mostly out of fear that my food would come back with spit in it or something.

  9. Elise (Post author)

    i felt bad for him too. he was so aloof and un prepared for any of my questions. that said, if it were me, id just go ask someone. theres no shame in admitting you dont know something (nobody knows everything!!), its worse when you try to pretend you do. thats actually one of the things that annoys me in my professional life too. when patients ask me things, i look them up. there are always new meds, so it would be insane to pretend to know them all (especially ones that are outside my normal cardiac realm).

  10. Elise (Post author)

    totally agree. ignorance is bliss.

  11. Elise (Post author)

    i had to go back and find your review after this comment…its pretty much dead on. i wish i could have tried the kale chips at least.

  12. Elise (Post author)

    i agree. i really really reallllly wanted to go to java green. i guess ill have to return to DC again (not on a sunday).

  13. Elise (Post author)

    right? even kyle was raising his eyebrows at that response.

  14. ethel

    Love this…”I asked what the gluten free bread was made out of and he said ‘it’s like whole wheat’. ” I had to laugh at that one. =) Sorry it wasn’t amaze balls e.

  15. Carly

    So I love waffles, but I’m always afraid to get them at hotels or buffets because I usually try to avoid dairy. I was just wondering how you typically figure out if the waffle batter has milk? Thanks(:

  16. Elise (Post author)

    i ask the staff. if they dont know its a judgment call…risky business 🙂

Comments are closed.