Today sucked. Mondays suck. I was thisclose to not ranting on the blog, but I just decided to let it all out (it’s pretty therapeutic). So here it goes…
Approximately one second after stepping foot outside the hospital today I burst into tears. I knew it was going to happen. I’d been holding it in all day. Naturally I called Kyle and he made things better-ish (or at least as better as they could be in the moment), but I couldn’t help how I truly felt (which was a combination of sad/pissed/angry/frustrated).
There were many reasons that led to this breakdown of sorts, and most of the reasons I can’t (shouldn’t) discuss on the blog. But, as I imagine is the case with any job, some days you just feel like you get totally sh!t on. For me this can be both literally and figuratively (I’m a nurse, what do you expect?).
Actually getting sh!t on? That I can handle. But metaphorically getting sh!t on. Well, that just plain sucks.
Feeling unappreciated is one thing, but feeling like you’re 100% inconsequential…ugh.
On top of that, I was in so much pain from my half marathon that I was almost unable to walk. One of the MDs gave me a IM shot of Toradol, which reallllllly helped my legs (but left my poor arm in bad shape).
To make matters worse, I managed to lose my beautiful silver-blue Littman (a prized and sentimental gift) with a mere three shifts left in my NY nursing career. Are. You. Kidding. Me.
Oh, and did I mention that a patient told me I was “heartless” today as well as screaming at me to “f%$@ off” more times than I can count on both hands. Yeah. And I wasn’t even the nurse caring for him.
Dear sir,
Why, pray tell, do you think I was in your room when you weren’t even my patient, if not to care for you. Do you really think I like getting yelled at for trying to save your life? Do you think I enjoy re-clothing you after you have ripped every wire, tube, and line out of your body, and then finally, your gown as well? Do you think calling me a f$%#ing b%^$# is acceptable in any setting – let alone one in which your well being relies on me? If you honestly think this is the case, that’s a shame.
Insincerely,
Elise
In case you were giving this jackass patient the benefit of the doubt – don’t. He had no altered mental status. He was 100% aware of what was going on. And he was just pissed off that the nursing staff was actually making him wear a gown and oxygen (the horror). His rationale (and this was a hilariously epic argument between him and his nurse) was that he sleeps naked at home, so he should be free to flash his penis to whoever happened to walk by if he damn well pleases (but now picture a grown man screaming this at you, throwing a tantrum, pounding his fists, and throwing his pillows across the room…only to ask for them back 5 minutes later). Awesome.
Anyways, I fear I may return to my previous state of frustrated rage if I discuss any more reasons as to why the day sucked, so I will d/c this negativity now, but this was (seriously) the tip of the iceberg in the day’s drama.
I did have 30ish minutes of blissful patient-free eating.
Big salad with spinach, edamame, corn, pepitas, dried cranz and topped with Livin’ Spoonful’s Coconut Curry raw crackers. Dee-lish.
Steamed sweet potatoes and raisins. With a side of carrot crunch.
I bought (4) apples on my “lunch” break, too. And by lunch break, I mean 2 pm sprint to Starbucks and back.
Dinner was great, but I’m too lazy to upload the pics, so I will show you tomorrow. And how about a giveaway too, yes? Sure. Why not! See you on the flip-side.
I am SO sorry to hear about your epically bad day. I’m trying to think of a day I’ve had that trumps that one for sheer badness, but it’s hard. Nothin’ like being screamed at to help destroy your mood.
I hate that feeling of holding back tears forever and ever.
When I was in the ER a while ago, there was a woman screaming obscenities at every nurse who tried to take care of her. It was awful for everyone, even me, like fifteen of those little curtain-rooms away.
Oh Elise, I’m sorry to hear your week isn’t off to a good start. From non-cooperative patients to your post treadmill half-marathon fatigue, you are a trooper! You got through the day!
I volunteer at a senior home every week and whenever someone gets mad at me for no reason, I feel like crap. literally. It makes me wonder why I put my time and effort when I could be doing other things that I much rather enjoy.
But at the end of the day I always come across those who appreciate what I do- even if it’s just a one-to-one visit.
I’m sure there are farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr more people who appreciate your daily struggles at the hospital. I for one admire you!
Take a deep breath and smile! 😀 I hope tomorrow is better for you.
So sorry you had a bad day today…. I hate feeling unappreciated. However, as a school social worker in a really rough area, it’s a daily occurrence! I never really get used to that though…. even those of us who went into thankless professionals still like to get, well, THANKED sometimes. It’s tough to swallow, but please know you are doing good work and are much appreciated! Keep it up girl!
Sorry you had a crappy day, I can definitely relate. Working at the hospital can be really tough sometimes, but at least you made it through. 🙂
awww omg i dont know how u do it…working as a cna has made me fear the nursing lifestyle i really commend u for doing this for a living..its not something just anyone can take or understand…rant all u want! u deserve to! ur job is hard and strenuous and it sux to not be appreciated!
-Lena
I wish your day wasn’t so stressful! My stepfather is a nurse at a psychiatric hospital and he often as days that seem similar to yours. No one deserves to be spoken to like you were – no matter the circumstances. Just remember that you are a true hero in the work that you do and are an amazing woman.
I hope your Tuesday is a MILLION times better!
Nicole G
I’m so sorry about your day. I hope imagining warm weather, palm trees, and the pacific ocean helps 🙂 Bad days, as much as they suck, at least they make the good days that much more enjoyable.
Oh my goodness. I really sympathize for you and the day you had. That is just awful that someone would treat another person like that. But tomorrow is a fresh start, and who knows, maybe you will get super lucky and have really sweet patients. I’m sure some good karma is right around the corner for you! Stay strong!
I’m so sorry. Rant away anytime you want. I only hope that when I am old and decrepit (next week), I will have someone as wonderful as you caring for me.
Big hugs – I am sorry to hear about your brutal day. I really hope someone returns your stethoscope too.
Sorry you had a crappy day… hope today is better for you!
<3 <3
Awww…you poor thing! Mondays DO suck A** big time. No question! I hate them too. Grrr.
Huge hugs, and today can only get better, right?!?
Courtney
Girl, I know your pain and I haven’t even HAD my first nursing job yet! (I graduated in December from UT nursing and am looking for jobs as we speak)… I used to just always chant to mysef “if you weren’t doing this, some person who couldn’t handle it would be”. For some odd reason, it helps.
Do you eat breakfast on the days that you work? I’m just curious because I love your quick, healthy lunch/snack ideas for the 12 hr grind, but I just can’t see myself waking up enough in the morning to get everything done if I haven’t eaten some grub first.
I’m sorry about your stethoscope. I remember having to chase doctors/nurses/ect around after they asked to borrow mine. Used to freak me out because I didn’t want them to steal it!
Just so you know, you’re an inspiration for this young nurse on how to live the crazy shift working life and still stay healthy! So thanks… and you ARE appreciated. Just maybe not by old crazy men trying to flash their old balls. =P
Ugh oh my God what a jackass! I am SO SORRY.
If I were ever (God forbid) in the hospital, I’d be effing respectful to the people who were KEEPING ME ALIVE. Jeez.
Your job is a service to humanity, please remember that. You are getting good karma and I hope the guy in the hospital gets a minor but painful nudity-related injury!
Ugh, Elise, I’m so sorry. The worst part of it? People are mean to you when you’re trying to freaking HEAL them! GAH. I’ve had a lot of those days lately, too… but you’re getting out in three days! GO YOU.
We just had a person in my work throwing a tantrum because they didn’t know how to use a computer (I work in a print shop) and then told the girl helping her to f*ck off….aren’t people great?? I will thank my lucky stars that I didn’t have to see an adult male naked and throwing a fit though. How horrid…
Hope the rest of your week goes better!
ewww that’s awful about the patient!!! my mom’s an ICU critical care nurse and she tells me horrible stories too–like getting kicked in the face and her lip bruised or having patients spit on her or having awful prisoners etc. i commend you for what u do!!!
So sorry to hear about that man’s terrible behavior. You absolutely don’t deserve it and you absolutely are NOT inconsequential!
And you’re my hero for being able to work a nursing shift after a half marathon. I almost couldn’t work my desk job after mine.
I hope today is loads better Elise!
GF that is one orange tupperware! are you tan from how much beta carotene you eat? if so, i’m jealous. actually.
i’m sorry to hear you had a bad day, sometimes work just overtakes us! i know it’s still stressful right now, but in a few months/years, your nursing battle wounds (aka stories) will be hilarious. i swear!
some people just suck. i think you’re ridic awesome for not crying on a daily basis. i would have taken my clamp and made him cry AND lose his family jewels so he wouldn’t have to worry about prancing anywhere naked. what a bastard.
i think you need a drank.
just think of the amount of beaches you’ll be seeing in no time flat.
p.s. what did kyle decide!?
So sorry about the super rough day. When you are physically hurting, mentally tough days are impossible. Just focus on taking care of yourself as best you can and keep your chin up girl!
oh babycakes…those days are the WORST! i totally appreciate the fact you can see the humor through it all. that helps immensely. luckily, our lil’ red-haired friend annie has some wise words of wisdom: tomorrow. always, always, always seems better.
lots of love girl.
and starbucks is always a good choice, esp on those days. have you ever read alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? you should change the name to elise 🙂
that sucks 🙁 and is exactly why I could never do your job…2 shifts to go, 2 shifts to go…you can do it!
Oh wow, i do not know what to say about your day. Really. I am not looking forward to the negative aspects of my future career, but at the same time, people like you inspire me to find the positive in a horrible day like you had yesterday and move on. I am so sorry you have to deal with such dirt, you are the reason our health care system has any integrity left what so ever. I appreciate everything you do IMMENSELY and know that there are a million other people who would back me up when i say, thanks (including said idiot you had to deal with, even though he didn’t say it then)! 🙂
I´m so sorry, Elise. Must be awful having to hear such things.
I hope everything gets better, love 🙂
Wish you a terrific week!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela
SP with raisins is one magical combo. I recommend the addition of walnuts too:)
oph, GIRL! i am sooo sorry for the rough day. sometimes you do need a good cry and ranting session. i hope today is going better, and i am so sorry about losing your awesome stethoscope 🙁 <3
Sorry you had such a terrible day! I can never get over the fact that some people can treat their caregivers so badly…like you said, their well-being depends on you so why stoop to verbal/mental/emotional/physical abuse? Hope it gets better!!! You are amazing, talented, sweet, kind and caring…don’t let that bad day get in the way of your beautiful life!
Countdown, then I’m your companion…besos mi amor.
Ugh. What a shitty day. That really sucked. Must feel good to vent though!
WE all have days like this. It will pass. Keep your head up
xo
JOcelyn
Oh MAN. So sorry about your day. 🙁 When I have bad days, I play my boyfriend’s drums. I am very, VERY bad at playing the drums, but it makes me feel like a badass and gets the negative energy out/replaces it with endorphins. Hmm that really doesn’t help you at all, now does it. Doh. Got anything to beat on?? Hope tomorrow is better!
~Sherah @ http://meltyrobot.wordpress.com
girl so sorry bout the high emotions and work and all the drama…dear lord hang in there. it’s a full moon. the universe is full of prana (excess energy) and turbulent interpersonal and emotional instability is incredibly common. that’s your yoga teacher talking 🙂
xo
well you got that jack*** outta the way so you can end your final shifts hopefully with someone who deserves your heartfelt care – compassion – and expertise! Remember those (and their families too) that you have sent away with a hug…cuz they appreciated all you did.. those are the real reason you are there. HUGS
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thank you SO much for your kind words
right? why do people steal stethoscopes? ugh.
anyways, to answer your question. im kinda weird in that i dont wake up hungry, and i really dont get much of an appetite until later in the AM (even on work days when i wake up super early).
soooo on work days, even though i never really want it, i get coffee with soymilk or a soy latte before i start my shift. i use my own mug so it stays warm and then around 9-10 am i usually start sipping away. every once in a while i get hungry earlier so i have various bars on hand just in case (lara, odwalla, prana, boomi, etc. are some of my faves that are stored in my locker).
everyone says you should always eat a full breakfast, but i really just CANT. my body does not want food at all that early…despite all my attempts to get on a more normal schedule (with a breakfast on work days), it just doesnt work. meh. for the record, most of my coworkers order breakfast form a local restaurant within 30 mins of getting to work, though, so if you were wondering how other nurses do it, thats what the consensus seems to be. but then im the only one who bring my own lunch too, so im not really of the norm in any sense compared to my colleagues.
anyways, i wanted to say thank you – it is SO sweet of you to leave me such a kind comment. i wish i could describe to you just how much it means to me. no joke, words cant express…and it makes blogging SO worth it to know that people like you are out there, reading what i write and taking it to heart and using it to stay healthy while pursuing such a great career. keep it up! despite my occasional rants, its SUCH a rewarding job.
thank you thank you thank you Lele!
Nicole – Thank You SOOOO much!!
Right? People amaze me. Ah well…it’s a new day 🙂 Thanks for the comment.
wow. your mom has some CRAZY stories…sometimes i think i could write a book on all the weird sh!t ive seen. nursing can be one crazy career. anyways, thanks for the kind and supportive words 🙂
here’s hoping! haha. thanks for the positive reminder 🙂
you are officially my future yoga instructor slash bestie slash coffee date…it’s (officially) UCLA!!! on may 15th we will be on board a flight to the west coast for GOOD!!!
dang, i REALLY wish i had a drum set because that sounds SOOOOO therapeutic. haha. i should go to a kickboxing class or something…thanks for the comment! so sweet of you!!!
true dat! the blog is highly vent-errific. its like all my readers are my therapists 🙂 thanks for the comment, though.
praise the lord – i cant wait. ps i rescheduled my appt for the 5th, so you dont have to witness it, haha
its pretty crazy, but then, people who are under stress do crazy crap. im in a better place now (thanks to all your supportive comments) and im ready to see the good in him. but seriously, your comment was one of the kindest i have EVER gotten. seriously. thank you a million times over for reminding me that im very lucky to have so many good things going for me in my life 🙂
i think the stethoscope is gone, but thats life right? thanks for the kind comment janetha.
thank you thank you thank you my fave brazilian reader 🙂
haha. well working the day after my half marathon was not so wise, but you live and learn right? anyways, thanks for the kind words 🙂
If ONLY i got tan from my beta carotene overdosing, hahaha… anyways you are right – i often think these stories will be great later in life. actually, even a few days later they make good ones…im already ready to turn this one into a sarcastically hilarious one. next niht out drinking will be very amusing for my companions 🙂
UCLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you thank you thank you!!
thanks buddy. its so nice to hear such positive uplifting comments.
never heard of that book!! but now im thinking it will be in my hands next time i hit up B&N
yes yes yes…thanks for the reminder. so close to being done!
I just reread this post…are these the last shifts of your entire nursing career?!
(DID YOU GET A BOOK DEAL?! )
hahaha…no no no. my *NY *nursing career…im going to get a nursing job in ca…but not until after the wedding
Oh. My God. This is freaking horrific. You are a saint for not cutting his naked penis off.
hahahahaha. best. comment. ever.
I doo hope those steamed sweet potatoes made up for such a crappy day. Those look delicious!
You’re an angel. That’s all there is to it. You and all the others who do what you do. Angels. Pure and simple.
God bless you Elise.
Sorry I’m late to this rodeo. I’m so sorry – that sucks so bad. I hope you don’t have to deal with shit, literal or figural again.
Did I tell you that the stupidest woman I’ve ever met got me fired? That’s why I’ve been too busy to blog.
Big hugs across the ‘sphere!!! See you this summer!
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