i’ve got the golden ticket

This post will be quick and to the point because I am SO tired.
Big coffee + blueberry bran VitaTop muffin.

These are good, but not too filling. They’d probably be better as snacks because there is certainly not enough caloric oomph to get the day started.

So I had a cereal mess (a la Andrea)…I think I will eat all cereal out of this bowl forever-more. It’s so fun!

Apple. (I know, it’s a good thing I put a title for the pic, as you may not have been able to figure out what the above red, round thing was)
Lunch: SB&J (none other than soynut butter and home-made plum preserves)

I *heart* loaf end pieces!
Plus a blended treat made with 12 oz. silk soymilk, 2+ tbsp chocolate soynut butter, 1 banana, and enough ice to get the right consistency.

I sipped it with a straw (I’m proper and shiz).
The people at SoyJoy sent me a coupon for a free bar. So (against my better judgement) I bought one to try out. We all know how much I hate nuts, but every bar is made with almonds or walnuts (ick), so I reluctantly got the Raisin Almond, since I figured it was the closest to something I would maybe eat. Talk about a John Dorian style angel vs devil inner monologue!!
It went something like this:
Angel: Elise, you HATE nuts. This will make you sick.
Devil: But you like oatmeal raisins cookies? It’s close! C’mon, try it.
Angel: You are going to regret it.
Devil: Just one taste, do it, do it.
Angel: Ok, just one taste…
Sorry SoyJoy, NOT a fan!!! (not even a little bit). This tasted like old biscotti made from uneaten christmas fruit loaf, with stale nuts. It was super gross. I definitely spit out the first bite and threw away the rest.
Another little secret they don’t advertise is that the product contains dairy. What!? Sure there is soy in the ingreds, too, but mostly the name is just a gimmick. Don’t be fooled, guys, this shiz, is NO good.

The last of the coconut date rolls. Note to self: buy more.
More snacky snacky: puttin’ on the ritz (if you know the reference, I feel a little sad)
Chocolate soynut butter goes with everything
I kinda almost ruined my appetite for dinner with all the PM snacks. Fortunately, I’m a big growing girl :)
I’m way into these tortillas – verrrry GOOD! I especially like how you can see the grains. They don’t taste all doughy like white flour tortillas, and they don’t taste weird like those nasty lo carb ones. They are just perfectly wheat-y.
At the store today, I randomly found this massive sized Sabra, and couldn’t pass…You can actually see HUNKS of glorious chickpeas in this tub! Chunky indeed-y!
In the wrap (that was packed too tight to close): hummus, baby spinach, matchstick carrots, some leftover seitan salad (and one lonely tofu cube)
A little blurry, sorry! I had to hold it closed with one hand, while doing some serious photog acrobatics in the other hand.
I had 2 of these wraps, and still my tummy was beggin’ for more (not really, but I wanted more)
So, for dessert #1, I chopped up a Vita Brownie
…and mixed it up into a vanilla o’soy yogurt.
Hmmm…I’m not sure what to make of this. I think the yogurt combined with the brownie was just way to sweet. Don’t get me wrong, I finished it (obv)…but I don’t think it’s a combo I will repeat. I guess if you’re gonna make a dessert sundae with the Vitas, you may as well just do the damn thang right with frozen (not reg) ice cream (or soy fro yo, or whatevs).
Needless to say I wasn’t satisfied, and even though I tried to watch tv, read, and draw to keep my mind pre-occupied (where is my BF when I need him!!)…I ended up having a huge dairy-loaded chocolate bar. EFF!! Tomorrow is gonna be rough. Good thing Kyle is in China (that should be a safe enough distance from the bathroom…). TMI? Sorry…
I felt like Charlie finding the golden ticket as I was opening it…
Oh dairy, how I missed you! This will bite me in the ass tomorrow (pun intended)!
Night kiddos!
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7 thoughts on “i’ve got the golden ticket

  1. Sharon

    Oh wow, love your eats!!! Jealous of your sabra hummus duudddeee!!! And the wrap looks great! Mmmm, chocolate!!!

    Reply
  2. kristen

    I’m still looking for the coconut date rolls! I’ve also realized that figs, for some odd reason, are pretty hard to find around here! I bought them at a local farm market, but the two main supermarkets in my area only carry “mini figs” and a super expensive organize kind. Who knew??

    I’ve also tried SoyJoy once before and didn’t make it past the first bite. It also reminded me of some stale textured gross fruit bar. There are so many better bars out there!

    Reply
  3. Adrianna

    soy joy= no joy.

    seriously, this blog is hysterical. thanks for making me laugh :) enjoy your sunday, and hopefully your bum recovers! good eats tho

    Reply
  4. eatingbender

    I just bought blueberry bran VitaTops! I can’t wait to try them – yours looks so yummy :o) I will take your advice and try it as a snack.

    I’ve heard that SoyJoys are terrible – glad to know that I should never buy one! But holy wow, those coconut date rolls look amazing ;o) As does that CHUNKY HUMMUS?! I have not seen that yet! I must look for it!

    Wow, I’ve officially decided there is too much goodness in this post! But that’s a GREAT thing!

    I saw your comment on my blog – I think I found the cup with a straw attached at Target!!

    Reply
  5. thecleanveggie

    I tried the Soy Joy Strawberry and thought it was just awful. I dont think I’ll be trying any other of their bars after reading this. haha

    Reply
  6. leangreendeane

    Elise, your blog is hilarious! As you can tell paying attention in my calc class is far less important then reading your old posts! ;) I had to comment once again just to support your comment 100% that “Soyjoy” is no beuno. I am pretty sure that company officially has THE WORST bars i have ever tasted. I also spit out my first bite, and after reading they are made with BUTTER, i felt like writing them a letter explaining my distaste for their false advertisements and for producing food that tastes like rancid nuts. :) Hope your break from blogging is going well and you come back soon, or i will have nothing left to do during this class!

    Reply

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