Lacking wisdom and solids

Last week I was Kyle’s designated driver.  Happy hour with the guys?  Nope.

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Getting up before the sun is the opposite of a happy hour.  Especially when you are driving a grumpy patient who hasn’t eaten in several hours.  I didn’t want to rub in my ability to drink, so I held off on the coffee.

After Kyle went into the procedure, I went to the family waiting area.  I had planned on walking to Starbucks, but the nurse came to get me a mere 15 minutes later.  Speedy surgeon much?

Everything went perfectly well, and I was delighted to see my drugged up beau felt nice and pain free.

He started to make (what I’m assuming was going to be) a wise-crack about his blood stained mouth and Bill Compton, but nodded off before he could get to the punch line.  It was rather humorous.  ;)

Getting him to the car was joyous.  He staggered like a drunk, and when I tried to balance him against the car (as I fished my keys from my overly massive purse), he decided to take on the role of a felon.  I felt like a cop ready to make my arrest as he stood facing the car, with his palms on the roof of our Civic and legs spread apart.  He thought he was so clever, too.  Silly boy.

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On the way home he kept telling me he was soooo hungry, so I told him I’d make him breakfast when we got home.  I began suggesting soft foods, and when I said cheesy grits, he started licking his chops.  Literally.

Kyle “Do we have any bacon to put on top?”

Elise “But babe, you’re a vegetarian now, remember?”

Kyle “Oh, SH!T”

Hahahaha.  I was laughing my head off, because the way he said it was like hot-damn!-I-forgot-I-don’t-eat-meat-any-more.

When I told him this later in the day, he was shocked that he asked for bacon. [For the record, Kyle has been eating very little meat lately, and has decided to become vegetarian(ish).  I had nothing to do with this decision.  He told me out of the blue a few months ago and since then I’ve been nothing but supportive as he weans from animal products]

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Groggy.

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Cheesy Grits (v, gf)

  • 1 cup corn meal
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 2 tbsp Follow Your Heart vegan cream cheese alternative
  • 1/4 cup shredded Follow Your Heart vegan cheddar cheese alternative
  • salt (to taste)

After he got some food in him, he took a Vicodin and passed out.

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And, as you can see, he felt pretty good when he woke up later.

I continued the ice, Vicodin, ice, Vicodin routine for the rest of the morning.  I think I reheated my coffee six different times.

 

 

 

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Lunch was another soft meal.  Amy’s cream of tomato soup with leftover rice.

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It smelled like spaghetti-O’s.  Minus the HFCS and faux ingreds.

After he was content, I made my own lunch.  I don’t even remember what it was, but obviously it wasn’t important enough to photograph.

I went for a bike ride while he zonked out in front of the tv.  It felt great to pedal away.  The weather wasn’t that nice, but it didn’t matter.  When I’m cycling, I feel so free.  It’s like returning to childhood.  So fun.

When I got home Kyle was in the kitchen, looking a little lost, so I offered to help him out.

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MIX 1 enhanced blueberry vanilla protein shake + banana + frozen strawberries

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No wisdom teeth means no straws allowed…so he ate the smoothie with a spoon.

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It doesn’t get any cuter than this.  Which is why I made an extra delicious dinner for the two of us.

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Brown rice spaghetti + (raw) protein pesto

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A soft food miracle!

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This was a ridiculously fantastic meal.  And it was FODMAPS friendly.  And it was vegan.  And it was raw (except the noodles).  And it was Kyle’s favorite.

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Eat your heart teeth out.

I didn’t photograph his dessert, but during one of his three naps I made a special trip to the grocery store for something in the frozen section.  Hint: it rhymes with dice dream.

 

Did you get your wisdom teeth pulled?  Any funny post-anesthesia stories to share?

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Comments (27)

  1. Kamaile

    I got my wisdom teeth (all four!) pulled a couple months ago and I was SOOOO sick of soft foods! My husband (a Kyle too!) made sure I had a variety of food since you are so out of it and don’t know what you want. I had a lot of mashed sweet or white potatoes with any can of Amy’s canned soup over the top, frozen fruit bars, mashed banana & peanut butter, smoothies and more soup, I was sick of soup!!! No funny stories except that I don’t remember the drive home or most of that day. :)

  2. Jess

    I had my wisdom teeth out when I was 14, and I basically lived off of vanilla milkshakes, which I ate with a spoon, very very slowly—to this day I cringe just thinking about them.

    I don’t know if it’s because I was so young or because I have a tiny mouth or whatever, but I had all kinds of complications that kept me in bed for two weeks. I remember being told to soak cotton balls in whiskey and put them in the back of my mouth. You’d think that a normal 14-year-old would be like, “Woohoo, alcohol!” but I was kind of weirded out.

    When I finally went back to school, I still had puffy cheeks and bruises, which made me a prime target for some of the more mature middle school boys…

    Yeah, good times.

  3. Sami

    awhh. hope kyle is feeling better soon!
    vicoden def. helps.

    i can’t wait to get that pesto recipe!

    my wisdom teeth experience was boring. nothing funny about it. except the fact that my mom thought it’d be okay to take me to a soccer game right afterward in support of my little sister. yeah. she thinks i’m invincible. soon i was in a ton of pain and crying while i waited for her in the car. ha.

  4. Alex @ The Plum Foodie

    I got all 4 pulled out at once 2 summers ago. I don’t remember the car ride home at all. My mom and husband made me milkshakes and mashed potatoes for days. I could not believe how sick of those 2 meals I became. Looks like Kyle was treated rather well with those fantastic looking meals!! And the Wife of the Year Award goes to….. :)

  5. hippierunner

    Aww how sweet! This made me miss my bf. That’s cool that you cycled for fun. :)

  6. Heather @ Better With Veggies

    It looks like you were the perfect nurse/chef for your cute patient – he was in good hands. I’m guessing that was WAY healthier (and yummier!) post procedure food than most people get to enjoy!

  7. Ashley @ Freckles & Spice

    Cheese grits are one of my great loves. I will have to try this recipe for them.
    I never got my wisdom teeth, but my bf did when we were freshmen in college. He was so drugged up. He kept calling me and telling me there were peas everywhere – he really meant he had a bag of frozen peas on his jaw. And he was freaking out that the noodles in his ramen soup were “slipping down the new holes,” and he was very scared about where they were ending up after going down the holes. I was trying not to laugh at him.

  8. Rachel

    I had my wisdom teeth (all 4) pulled out in high school, on the same day my mom was having an operation on her knee…at a different hospital. So my grandmother picked me up in my drugged state, then got lost on her way to pick my mom up at the other hospital. Luckily I missed most of it, due to passing out from the painkillers. :) We were a pretty whiny house for the next couple of days, though!

  9. Kaitlyn@TheTieDyeFiles

    Mmmm Spaghettios sans fake ingreds? I’m down.

    When I got my wisdom teeth out I was apparently really lovey dovey with everyone including my little sister. My favorite story, though, my best friend:
    Doctor: How do you feel?
    Friend: Great, but my butt itches!

  10. Katie

    Ahh, poor kyle! I had my wisdom teeth out and it was awful – I was sick as a dog from the pain killers and threw everything up. Also, I was sobbing when I came-to from the anesthesia. I’m a freak.

    But when my cousin got his out, he asked his wife if they could go get some Asian hookers. True story.

  11. Gavi @ Gavi Gets Going!

    When I got my wisdom teeth out, I watched a 4-hour marathon of old “America’s Next Top Model” episodes from 2006 or 2007. I didn’t realize they were reruns, though–I thought it was the current season–and I cried hysterically for an hour when my brother “spoiled” it by telling me the winner. The next day, I didn’t remember a thing. I hope Kyle is feeling better! :)

  12. janetha

    What a trooper! And yeah, a speedy surgery. Hope Kyle is back to solids and 100%. Marshall is getting a couple teeth pulled this week, I imagine he will be a baby about it ;)

  13. BroccoliHut

    During Christmas break of my senior year of high school, I had jaw surgery AND my wisdom teeth pulled. Yeah, I was a total chipmunk for several weeks. Anyway, I lived off smoothies, refried beans, oatmeal, and scrambled eggs.

  14. Abby @ Abz 'n' Oats

    Too cute! :) I got my wisdom teeth removed my junior year of high school. I don’t remember anything except right before I fell asleep the nurses were griping at each other saying “really…I didn’t want to work with you today”. Talk about making your patient feel safe. Yikes!

  15. Elise (Post author)

    ew! thats awful!

  16. Elise (Post author)

    not too shabby as far as soft foods go!

  17. Elise (Post author)

    haha. good luck to marshall!

  18. Elise (Post author)

    hahaha…i love it. trashy tv is definitely the way to go when youre sick or incapacitated.

  19. Elise (Post author)

    oh. my. god.
    that is hilarious about your cousin.

    i had the same experience you did. i puked after one dose of vicodin. never gonna try that again. i also tried to play in a soccer tournament that weekend (one day later) with basically zero food in my stomach. that was kinda another disaster in and of itself (i wound up in the ER after my mom came to pick me up).

  20. Elise (Post author)

    hahaha. i love it.

  21. Elise (Post author)

    your poor g-ma!

  22. Elise (Post author)

    oh my gosh, thats amazing. hahahaha

  23. Elise (Post author)

    i wish.

  24. Elise (Post author)

    i tried to PLAY in a soccer game the next day. definitely backfired. i ended up in the emergency room with IV fluids because i was so dehydrated after not taking anything by mouth the entire day before.

  25. Elise (Post author)

    whiskey!?! so bizarre.

  26. Elise (Post author)

    he is definitely sick of soup now too…

  27. Adam Deane

    Aww… you guys are awesome! I feel bad for Kyle but I was laughing throughout this entire post! ;) I am just now catching up on the past few weeks! I can’t wait to keep reading! Hope you guys are doing well… It seems like you are. I also hope that the weather is a little bit better than Seattle’s right now… I assume it is.

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