Pack that a$$ up

I think my carry-on bag weighed more than I do.

Allow me to explain (with photos):


Bar-ville, USA.

No such thing as over-packing when you’re flying from the east coast to the middle of the pacific ocean…right?

But then, after piling my bag with dried fruit, clifs & laras, I freaked out and worried I didn’t have enough food so then I added more.


And then more.

Of course, I STILL ended up buying tons more at LAX because I’m so type A, I think there’s no such thing as being TOO prepared…but I’ll get to the flights later.

I previously posted my tips for flying, here.

What are your go-to foods for flying?

Anyways, I woke up Sunday morning wayyy earlier than necessary, so I could do this…


…and this.


Just kidding, I only did the first one.  But I did make sure to get in a solid 20 minutes of stretching…cramped up on a plane all day is no bueno for my old lady runner joints.


I also had a big bowl of melon for brekkie.  Never too soon to start hydrating.

After waking up a bit more, I did some last minute packing, and hit the road for JFK.  Kyle was sweet enough to walk me to the subway (although I’m pretty sure it was just an excuse for him to get a muffin for breakfast on the way home).

The airport is the ultimate place for people watching…there were far too many weirdos to document.  However, I DO have a few highlights from my 15+ hours of observing.

I took a few notes so as not to forget.  If you don’t care about my random musings, feel free to skip ahead, I won’t be offended know either way 🙂


That’s the bathroom tally from my middle seat neighbor on the flight from JFK to LAX.  SEVEN.  SEVEN!!!  And these weren’t quick trips, these were half hour long visits (I know this because on one of them I watched an entire episode of Kendra)…so there was clearly something going on. 

At first I felt bad for the guy.  Homes must’ve been dealin’ with some serious GI issues.  But once he started nearing (and then passed) the double digits (of times I had to get up to let him back in), my empathy quickly turned to annoyance.  Dude, get the aisle seat if you have a weak stomach. 

I know I sound horrible (especially coming from a girl with IBS), but the guy was also a SUPER CREEP.  He was staring at me the entire freakin’ flight.  You know when you can tell someone is looking at you, and you look up and meet their eyes and they quickly look away.  Well, he was like that, but DIDN’T look away!  I mean I was like, helloooooo, I can see you staring at me!

At one point (when middle seat was in the bano) the guy in the window seat actually said “is this his first time out of the house?!”  Word, window seat guy.  Word.

I could go on and ON about his bizarre actions over the course of the 5 hours we were forced to share 2 inches of armrest and overhead compartment space, but I’ll move on.


Btw, this was the line for the only coffee place in the Delta terminal. 


Clearly, I waited – and yes, people thought I was very weird for taking pictures of the line and then of my coffee…but I don’t really care.



Sabra + pretz = happy happy hippie 🙂

I also got the $5 cup of melon, which brought my morning airport expenses to $13.  WELL worth it.

Given the advantage of hindsight, I can now say it was a very necessary purchase.  I don’t know HOW I would have coped with the creepy middle seat guy without my hummus love.


I had a 3 hour layover in LAX, during which I consumed 2 bars, 45 pounds of dried fruit, my pre-packed salad, and the above purchases (add on another $11 to my bill).

Notice the ketchup shot in the bottom of the screen :)  I felt guilty just entering the golden arches to get it!

I bought another veg platter for the second flight, too.

And now for some superlatives…(kidding! kinda…ok, maybe not)

JFK to LAX fellow passenger best outfit award goes to purple velour matchy matchy sweat suit with “apple bottom” emblazoned in crystals across the ass.  The outfit didn’t end there though…she also rocked stunna shades on top of her head the entire (5 hour) flight PLUS she obvs got her hair did freshly for the trip and sported hoops I could easily fit my fist through, all while balancing in 4 inch stilettos.  Seriously.  You can’t make this shiz up.  I wish I could have gotten a picture of that!  I hope she had someone soopah important waiting for her in LA, because with a get-up like that, she should be P. Diddy’s shoulder candy (at the least).

Runner up goes to the female body builder with biceps that would make Jillian’s gun show look like amateur hour.  Her veins were bulging like a mo fo.  AND (as if her peek-a-boo veins weren’t enough to get the point across) she also had underarmor gear hugging her muscles tighter than House of Derion jeans on Beyonce’s bootylicious lady lumps.

Love me some people watching 🙂


The second flight was pretty perfect (as far as 5+ hour flights go)…I had an endless supply of free movies, so I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic and He’s Just Not That Into You.  Quality.  I figured Kyle wouldn’t be too heart broken if I saw these without him…(he’d be so bummed if I saw the Jonas Brothers movie before he did, so I held off on that one – maybe the flight back home?)!

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Comments (40)

  1. MarathonVal

    That was such a hilarious posting to read! I’ll be on a flight this Saturday (a 6AM-er to Vegas!) and I was just debating how many of my prized bars to bring with me. I love me some buffet food, but knowing I have a tasty chocolate Luna bar to snack on later may help me from overindulging to excess – we shall see 🙂

  2. Annabel

    OMG you have me cracking up aloud at work — not good! You are too freakin’ hilarious. Sorry bout the creep who sat next to you :/ But creeps do at least make excellent fodder for bloggers! 😉 About the chick dressed to the 9s — I never get this! It’s like when I see chicks in stillettos at Disneyland — why, why would you do that to yourself?

  3. julie

    hahahahaha oh my god. that trip is INSANE. you should have asked the guy if the toilet was actually the seat he booked on the plane or suggested it for next time..

    uhh i think your applebottom friend is the same one that goes to my gym..

  4. Jessica (jesslikesithot)

    I didn’t realize you were going on this Hawaii trip w/o kyle!! Haha….i’m OBLIV(ious)!

    Man, that creeper sounds sketchyyy!!!! I love that he wouldn’t even look away when you’d catch him! So ODD!!!!
    LOVED your recap even more though!! The fashionistas sound entertaining, but not as entertaining as KENDRA! Ha! Jk!

    HAVE FUN!!!! 🙂

  5. elise

    hes joining me for the second week (arrives this coming saturday)…hey maybe you can meet up with HIM at LAX!?! haha

  6. ellie

    Haha… I love people watching- sitting next to creepsters on long-haul flights? Not so much! Glad you made it though, despite the weirdos.

    I always pack a ton of food for flights- one time I got pulled away by security into some weird interview room whilst they removed an apple from my bag. How was I to know you can’t bring fresh produce from the UK to US?!

  7. lowandbhold

    So jealous you’re headed to Hawaii but don’t envy your airport/airport time! Sounds like your taking it in stride though! LOVE people watching. Reading about yours is just as entertaining, lol.

  8. Lara (Thinspired)

    Ok wait, I lied. I have missing a ton of your posts (I’ve been gone so didn’t realize!). I am fixing it now and hopefully it will be alright!

  9. sunshineach

    When I was flying home from Vegas last year, I was waiting in line and there was this tall glassed-in box thing you had to walk by that had a sign reading, “These things are not allowed on the flight.”

    Most are obvious, but they actually included a bow and arrow and…wait for it, a freaking CHAINSAW. In the case–for real. Really? I can’t bring a liter bottle on the flight, but maybe a chainsaw would be okay?

    I always make sure to have Lara Bars and bags of shredded wheat, almonds and dried fruit. Usually my bag is so freaking heavy I have to limit the food, but I’ve been known to find the closest grocery store wherever I’m staying to stock up on non-perishable essentials!

    Have fun!

  10. Courtney

    Yay–you can post from Hawaii?! I was worried what I would do without my Hungry Hungry Hippie fix for 2 weeks, lol :o)

    I always limit my liquids before flights because I apparently have a bladder about the size of a grain of rice and am terrified of being your middle seat companion (in the sense of making people get up a zillion times so I can pee, not in being creepy…he sounds super creepy and scary!).

    Anyway, your post was hilarious, so at least it provided good blogging material, right?! I am glad you survived and now you don’t have to go through that again for a whole two weeks!


  11. mayapamela

    mmm Sabra’s hummus and pretzel cup!

  12. ksgoodeats

    Definitely no such thing as over packing! One time I flew from Boston to Detroit well they decided to cancel my flight so K flew from Boston to MINNEAPOLIS back to Dtown and had to stuff down a pepperoni pizza 🙁 This was pre veg days!

    I am so happy I discovered Kendra’s show – LOVE IT!! Seven trips? That’s obnoxious. I didn’t realize people still rocked the matching velor outfits. Although, I was at Tar-jhay and shuga mama was reppin’ her pink juicy one. Oy!

    SOOOO glad you got your hummus and ketchup! Hah! Enjoy paradise for me!

  13. traveleatlove

    Wow you were well prepared! I am always lame and wait til the last minute to pack, ending up eating airport crap before I fly.
    Apple bottom pants- love it. Too bad there were no boots wit da fur. . .
    Hope you have a better seatmate on the way back!

  14. homegirlcaneat

    ahahahaha the airplane man sounds like a CREEPA! When I was flying back from Vermont, I went from Burlington to DC to SF and my flight from DC to SF ended up being two diff flights on one airplane ? So it was really fucking crowded and this little girl behind me at one point (after 20 minute intervals of kicking my seat) somehow reached over and smacked my head. I have no idea why or how she did it, but I was pissed because it made me miss a part in She’s Not That Into You because I just held my head confused and tried not to look back and ask the gurl what’s her deal.


  15. broccolihut

    Oh man, this post was so friggin’ entertaining. Thanks for making me smile!
    I always get stuck next to some older gentleman who wants to chat me up the whole plane ride. Let’s just say the last one was a gynecologist who lectured me for not having gotten the Gardasil shots. The joys of traveling.
    Fave flying foods:
    -Sunbutter sandwiches (with so many people with peanut allergies, I figure I could at least be courteous and use a non-peanut containing nut butter when in such a confined space)
    -dried fruit
    -cereal (Puffins work especially well for grab-ability)
    -carrots & other raw veggies (although they can be noisy) with a dollop or two of hummus

  16. Hangry Pants

    That man on the plane was definitely stranger danger all over the place. Glad you had your sabra to get your through.

  17. snackface

    We’d get along in real life so well. That is exactly what I do, oh, all the time. Sistah with the hoops and the CFM heels on the plane is killin’ me. I was fine on my flight from Cinci to San Fran. Somehow I was blessed with quiet seatmates. Though the one on the right had awful breath.

    I always pack plenty of food. I’m awful when hungry and just wouldn’t want to scare anyone.

    Have a fanfreakingtastic time in Hawaii!

  18. elise

    vegas!! so fun 🙂
    bars are also good hangover food, so you might as well pack a ton…have a blast!

  19. elise

    hahaha! you are SO right!
    the best part (that i think i forgot to mention in this post) was that there was no water working on our plane…i dont even want to imagine what the bathroom situation was like after he was in there…

  20. elise

    that’s what i was thinking the entire time!
    …at least i have good blog material 🙂 the things i endure for you guys…haha. xxx

  21. elise

    oh man, i always forget about that too!
    i am going to have serious problems leaving Hawaii, seeing as i can’t take any fruit. i wonder if dried fruit is ok? hmmm…i’ll have to look into that!?

  22. elise

    oh phew!
    ps reading about your italian get-away was so nice – i felt like i was there 🙂

  23. elise

    i’m dying of laughter right now! a CHAINSAW? too bad i was REALLY thinking of getting one here and carrying it on the flight with me back to nyc. good thing i didnt have one on that first flight….middle seat creepo may not have gotten to LA alive.

  24. elise

    internet is in and out, but i hope to get a few posts out 🙂

  25. elise

    which is why i MUST get my arse to the bay, stat!

  26. elise

    ew. thats soopah lame-o…i woulda gone WAY passive aggressive on her ass. evil stares. watch out!

    that’s the price you pay for making me miss my free movie!

    ps i totes watched hes just not that into you on the flight 🙂

  27. elise

    glad i can entertain ya!

  28. elise

    haha, thats my K! awww, sorry about the meat-y pizza in the airport 🙁
    im lovin kendra, her laugh alone makes watching worth it. i knew youd appreciate the sabra 🙂 ill soak in 5 minutes of sun for you…(not too much for the pastel princesses that we are)

  29. elise

    ill be with kyle on the way back…so let’s hope i don’t have horror stories, haha!

  30. elise

    aren’t you just SO sweet, thinking of your fellow passengers and potential allergies!!

    mmm. puffins, thats a good one to remember!

  31. jenngirl

    Never such a thing as being TOO prepared! I’m the same way 😉

    Glad you had a safe, if interesting flight!

  32. Quinn

    Ummm, talk about an entertaining (maybe?) flight. People watching at it’s best. The guy next to you? Super creeper – I may have needed a flight change after trip numero dos to the bano.

    I saw those Sabra & Pretzels at Sheetz on Sunday AFTER I had already gotten my sandwich. So annoying, but glad you enjoyed them.

    Hope you have a fabulous trip! You are definitely prepared!

  33. Katie

    Here you are! I missed you!

    HA I need to pick me up some of those purple velour threads.

    He’s Just Not That…. was on my plane, too… did you like it?

    I think I also completely missed where it is you’re actually GOING. I’ll catch up…

  34. Missy Maintains

    I am the same way when I go away..I stuff my bag with like 100 bars! Thats is amazing that you found hummus in the airport! And you are hilarious! Tha is the worst when poeple get up 1000 times to use the bathroom yet they wont sit in the aisle!

  35. Kailey

    wow now that is one long line!
    LOVEE your bar stash! Bars are the best go to snacks ever 😀

  36. VeggieGirl

    Oh my, that sweat suit description, haha 😀

    My go-to plane food = Pure bars, Wild bars, and fresh/dried produce.

  37. Diana (Soap & Chocolate)

    LOL love the people watching observations. Secretly I must be judging so many people during plane trips and I don’t even realize it. Like by the end of the flight I have a full-blown relationship in my head with the people immediately around me. Active imagination much?

  38. elise

    hahaha, i agree, i love trying to figure out what their deal is. but, sometimes (like with the guy next to me), i just draw a blank…so amusing though 🙂

  39. elise

    i still have to try pure bars!!

  40. flexyfare

    Great post! I wish I’d seen it before I flew to Southeast Asia! It is stressful to travel, at least for me…and familiar foods would have been nice. Enjoy your travels!


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