Hungry Hungry Hippie

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Emotional eating

Ugh.  It’s been a loooong end to the week.  Weekends are supposed to be restorative and get you refreshed for the work week ahead, but they’ve been anything but relaxing these days.  Stressful, in fact.  We are too busy and as a result I’m choosing food that’s not the best for my body and it’s making me feel blah and I don’t like it.  I could make a million excuses about it, but the reality is, they are choices I’m making, soooooo…I should stop.  But food is comforting and sometimes I just want what I want because it makes me happy (in the moment).  It’s lame, but I’m pretty sure everyone on the planet makes similar choices, so I’m only human.

This is Wednesday’s breakfast…a home-made carrot walnut raisin muffin with oats and almond flour.  Topped in cashew butter.  When I have the time, I am pretty good about starting the day right.

As you can see, this was eaten at the table (and photographed!), which means I had the time. Otherwise I’m eating standing over the sink while I attempt to load the kids in the car and run out the door for whatever activity we have.  It’s a miracle thing about having kids…you can be up at 6 am and still be late for something at 9 am.  Well, that’s a lie.  I’m a punctual person so my “late” is on time, and my “on time” is 5-10 minutes early.  But you get the point.  I hate rushing with meals so it’s super important to me to try to give myself the time to eat.  Sounds basic, but it’s not always easy.

Impulse buy from TJs last week.

Yes, I know it has wheat/gluten.  I’m not going to try to justify why I think it’s ok or whatever for a low fodmap diet because to be perfectly honest, it isn’t.  It’s not terrible, by any means, though and I wanted to try it, so I got it.  And it was awesome.  But I had regurg for the rest of the day.  I’m not sure if it would have been as big of an issue had I stuck to the two shown below, but I was starving (I ate lunch way too late this day) so I went back for more and that’s where I think I went wrong.

I put avocado and Kite Hill almond cheese on top.  So yum.

After naps we picked Kyle up from the train station and went to farmer’s market.

We came home for dinner though because I didn’t feel like spending $ when we had leftovers to finish at home. I didn’t really feel like the broccoli dish, but like I said, it was fridge clean out day, so this was my contribution. I don’t even remember what I gave the kids or Kyle!!

Helllooooo lovahhhh.

Definitely went back for seconds.  New pledge: only get what I get the first time around, no seconds!  There.  It’s in writing.

Thursday breakfast!  It was a hot workout and I was in the mood for a smoothie.  I am low on Vega chocolate protein powder.  I should keep my eyes open for the next WF supplement sale. In truth, I barely had time to finish this before leaving the house.  I ended up bringing the mug in the car and shoveling it down my face between P’s preschool drop off and V’s play group (which start at the same time FYI).

Lunch salad du jour had kale, miso dressing, carrots, avocado, and salty almonds.

A weird thing started happening lately with my huge kale salads. They have started making my GI symptoms flare.  I noticed it a bit last week and then I kinda took a few days off them this week and am not sure what to make of it because I had other things that made my body feel yucky too so I need to figure out what’s up.

I am really starting to dislike Thursday nights because they are too crazy.  We go straight from soccer to tee ball and then we have to drive an hour to my parents’ house before OIT Fridays. And somewhere in there they have to eat dinner (and he has to get his milk dose but remain inactive for an hour before bed). It’s stressful trying to coordinate it all.  I won’t be too sad when the season ends in two weeks.

Because Kyle had to coach this week and I was in charge of snacks, we couldn’t cut out early either.  By the time we left the game it was already 6:30 so I knew there was NO WAY we could wait another hour to eat dinner.  So we ate in Davis (taco leftovers) before packing up the car to drive to the Bay.

OIT day!

He eats breakfast before we drive to Fremont, but I try to keep him eating fairly regularly throughout the appointment to cushion his stomach for the milk doses.

We got through SO MANY updoses!  It was really nerve-wracking to be honest, because the cumulative amount he got seemed like a ton (it was, in fact, over 3/4 a cup in a 3 hour time span).

After a 90 minute wait, he was cleared for the last dose (60 cc), so off we went to WF.

I had been on pins and needles for the last hour at the office because he was showing (very minor) signs of congestion – sneezing with a slightly stuffed up nose – but I just kept feeding him and distracting him and keeping him calm and inactive and eventually it cleared up!  Phew!

So there I am at WF, a ball of nerves with endless food options at my fingertips, and what do I want to eat?  Cream of tomato soup and a soft pretzel.  Obviously, this was a bad idea, but it was calling to me.  I went back and forth so many times before saying F&^% it and getting the dang soup.  Dairy and wheat in one sitting ohhhh buddy.  This is after my stomach was still reeling from the rye seed crackers the day before.  Oh and I had a Quest bar that morning with lots of other icky weird stuff too!  Poor gut.  I just don’t even give it a chance.

In addition to the (gluten-y) soft pretzel and (creamy) tomato soup, I had kale chips (that I brought from home). It was an amazing meal, to be honest, but probably not the best for my gut’s sake.

P napped the whole way home (which was an hour longer than normal due to major traffic) and when we arrived at my parents’ house he was totally rested and energized (and symptom free). My dad had national park quarters to add to his collection. Nerd alert!! V had recently woken from a nap, too, so they were both bouncing off the walls, while I was dragging.  I hate to say it but I was kinda dozing off on the way home.  I had NPR on (This American Life) and that combined with the traffic, I was seriously freaking out that I was going to crash!  I kept shaking my head and finally put on some music that I could sing along to.  Obvs I made it fine, but man was I exhausted when I got there.

My parents’ Costco sells kombucha (Kevita brand) and since I have gotten my whole family hooked on the ‘buch, they had some in their fridge.  It helped calm my stomach and offered a mini dose of caffeine.  I’ve never tried the kevita brand (I’m a pretty loyal GT’s person), and it was a flavor I’d never think to try (pineapple peach) but it was so good!  I asked my mom to grab me a 6 pack next time she’s at Costco because ours doesn’t have them.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the backyard being spazzes, picking eating stuff from the garden, and keeping my dad company while he did yard work).

This carrot wasn’t ready but that didn’t stop them from gnawing on it for the rest of the afternoon.  And eating a bunch of the green tops.

They took turns a few times, but eventually she just claimed it as her own.  He was fine with it, naturally, because it was hard as a rock.

They ate parsley, rosemary, and red leaf lettuce, too before finding their way to the citrus trees.

They looooove hanging with grandma and grandpa in the backyard.

I don’t even know what they were looking at or discussing here…

But there’s V, just holding on to her carrot and lemon for dear life.

I even had to change her diaper with her holding them!

My dad grilled burgers for dinner – turkey and beef.  And we made two kinds of fries (krinkle cut were 365 brand, regular were Alexia foods) and a spinach salad (pistachios, strawberries, balsamic vinaigrette dressing).

I didn’t hold back even a little when it came to this meal.

I had seconds of fries, added extra mayo to my burger half way through eating it, and finished the avo coated GF bread off both of my kids’ plates.  It’s like I was on a mission.  I was too tired and full for dessert and ended up going to bed at 9 pm that night because I just wanted to end the day.

P was doing great after his dinner dose, and he actually fell asleep pretty quickly after we put him to bed…but I had a weird feeling about him.  It’s easy to label it as “mom intuition” in hindsight, but I really had this nagging feeling that something was off and even got up to check on him after I was in bed.  He was sleeping, so I just went back to bed.  Luckily he was in our room because a few hours later I heard him moaning followed by a weird gagging sound.  I sprang out of bed, knowing right away that he was throwing up, and raced to the bathroom with him in one arm and a handful of vomit in the other.  Sorry to be graphic.  The rest of the night was all kinds of terrible.  Kyle was a rock star helper, starting laundry and whatnot while I sat with him in the bathroom rubbing his back and holding him.  It never actually stopped until noon the next day.  He was pretty good about telling us when he was done (for the time being) and then we’d clean him up, crawl back in bed (all sleeping together) and 10, 20, sometimes 45 minutes would pass and we’d suddenly know it was time to race back to the bathroom.  We ran out of clothes pretty immediately, so he was in my socks and his tee ball jersey by the time the sun came up.

He told me playing trains would help him get energy and that would make his tummy feel better. Who am I to argue with that logic?!  Especially on zero sleep…

He wanted nothing to do with food all day, but I did get him to try a few sips of my strawberry banana sun butter smoothie.  He threw it up a few hours later though.  🙁

Aside from the intermittent vomit, he was in decent spirits!  He helped me bake cookies because I promised him the day before that we would.

They were chocolate with coconut flakes and gluten free.

The second half had walnuts because I wanted them but he didn’t, so that was our compromise.

At some point, Kyle took them off to do a secret activity (which I now know was making me a bowl at color me mine for Mother’s Day).

I had called our OIT MD already and he told us to skip the morning dose because P wasn’t eating anything, and he didn’t eat lunch either, so we decided to play his evening dose by ear too.

I couldn’t stop thinking about his poor little body, suffering as I forced him to eat such a big dinner so that he could handle his new high dose.  I should have known better than to think he could handle all that milk in one day.  I should have listened to his cues more closely.  We should have been more cautious with the amount of updosing.  Should have, should have, should have.   Now we are missing doses, which we have never done, which will probably put us back to square one. Two steps forward, one step back. It’s impossible to know what the right approach is, but one thing is for sure, once he feels better, we are slowing this process way down.  Maybe that means taking a week off every once in a while.  Or simply doing one updose per appointment.  But now that the amounts of milk are so huge, it seems reckless to drown his gut in allergens.  Especially because he is the slowest eater of all time.  To get him to eat a big meal, it takes an hour of coaxing (aka nagging) and that turns me into a person I reallllly don’t want to be.  I wish I could let him nibble away for hours on end, but that’s really not practical for oit dosing.  Anyway, I have a million thoughts on this, so I’ll cut it off there.  It’s basically all I can think about these days.  Ever since this incident I have been living in a state of controlled panic leading up to each dose, which is totally NOT THE POINT of doing desensitization in the first place!

Kyle stayed with the kids while I went to another wedding shower for my sister.   It was catered by kebab burger, which is a Mediterranean place in town and I couldn’t help but drown my worries in hummus.  The falafel and hummus were seriously amazing.  I was all but licking the plate.

Eventually I made it back to Kyle and the kids and we loaded up the car to drive back to Davis…

Which was a pretty miserable drive.

V entertained herself fine with food, but P was on the edge of melting down the entire drive (who could blame him after his horrible night and day!).  Truth be told, I was melting down too!  It didn’t help that the drive took 2 hours!!  Or that V dumped a bag of cereal all over the car (that P was feeling up to eating).  Or that we had no dinner planned and it was well past their dinner times. I am getting stressed out just writing about it again now.

I pulled together a meal of randoms, including roasted chickpeas and hard boiled eggs for the kids (P ate a little!).  I had this Caesar salad with smoked salmon, which tasted great, but caused my stomach to completely flip out (due to the dairy in the dressing).  Usually I can tolerate a little Caesar dressing, but my psychological state must have affected my gut because it wasn’t pretty.

The good news of the night was that I ended up giving P his dose and he did fine with it.  I was nervous because he didn’t eat much, but I stuck to the amount from last week (30 cc) and we sat and read books and stayed inactive until he went to bed.  Kyle and I both checked on him multiple times that night and he was fine, so we are back to where we were last week but at least he’s ok.

No dessert for me.  I was so tired I went to bed as soon as P was down at 8:30.

Tuna Tuesday

I really like alliterations but hate thinking of post titles.  Sometimes I just want to put a date on it and call it a day.  If I was better about food photography I could just do a bunch of “what I ate” posts, but I forget to capture half the things I make so I can’t really call it that. Anyway, I’m still trying to get the kids’ palates on board with tuna, and Kyle requested nicoise salad this week so boom.

It’s a pretty easy way to serve dinner…nobody ate the olives but me (V tried a few times) and the potatoes were the obvious number one.  But V liked the tuna a lot!  I think she has my salt loving taste buds.

I’m getting ahead of myself.


Ok so I went to target the other day for the sole purpose of getting mocha califia because we were out and they were out of stock!  The nerve!  So I settled for this small bottle of cocoa noir, which it turns out is not nearly as good.

It’s good on it’s own but doesn’t really do it for me in my coffee (which is how I drink the mocha califia).  Lesson learned.  Now I have to get my hands on the mocha before Thursday when this one runs out. Tick tock!

I made a smoothie for breakfast – still using the collagen although nothing notable is happening in my gut (meaning there’s been no change in any symptoms).

Lunch was a blur because we were returning from library/preschool pick up and I hadn’t made anything in advance.  Good thing they are so patient when hungry…not.

Post nap (quiet time) games.

Finally I lured them out of the house to a park.

It was hot so we didn’t stay longer than an hour, but that worked out perfectly since P and Kyle had a special date planned before dinner.

V helped me cook while they were out. She likes putting things in her pocket and trying to get stuff out of mine.  But I never have anything in mine, so she is usually pretty disappointed.

Dinner time.

Dessert time.

And we now have one episode left of The Night Manager which is so intense and awesome I think you a should go watch it now (we are watching via amazon prime).

Meatless Monday

My sister’s future mother in law made me these gluten and dairy free biscotti and they are GOOOOOOOOOOD!!

First up, the kiddos breakfast.

I accidentally overestimated our banana rate of consumption this past week so we had a lot of brown ones to deal with.  I froze some for smoothies and made a huuuuge batch of pancake batter with a few more…and thus made enough pancakes for the week.

I froze some of the extras and saved more for the next two days.

I had a few of these guys with my coffee and then it was off to the zoo!

She insisted on that headband.  Her accessorizing skills are really at an all time high right now.

A tortoise was getting a check up.

Dinner prep – marinating tempeh with Mexican spices and chopping produce.  P helped with the cilantro again.

No lunch pics to share (same old same old).

Dried pineapples and raw walnuts for snack.

This was her first time with dried pineapple and it took a while for her to get through the whole ring but she did it! I used to LOOOOVE pineapple rings and kinda forgot abut them!  Note to self: eat more pineapple rings.

They played around the house until it was time for Pacman’s swim lessons.

Dinner came together pretty quickly once we got home.

This tempeh was legit.  P doesn’t really like tempeh but he ate it anyway.  V on the other hand loved it and requested more by itself once she finished her taco.

Everyone else had tacos but I made a taco salad.  It had black beans, avo, tempeh, romaine, green onions, cilantro, tomatoes, and daiya cheese.

But then I remembered the red onions I had pickled the day before (with the parts I didn’t skewer for the grill).  Added those and then some salsa too. I was really going ALL OUT with this one.

And then all. the. chips.

Ah salt.  My weakness for lyfe.

He had three!  I was stuffed after my chip-stravaganza and wasn’t going to have any dessert but then I caved and had some.  I didn’t take a pic but I had the rest of the TJs chocolate bars from the previous day (finished off the raisin and pecan one and more of the mint one).

Sideboard and summer preview

OIT update:

He is up to 1/8 cup of whole milk and the MD predicts another couple visits until maintenance!! Maintenance is 1/2 cup (taken twice a day) and is meant to provide “free eating” as determined by our personal experimentation afterwards. You aren’t supposed to eat any additional dairy (more than the two 1/2 cup doses per day) for the first month, but after that you can kinda trial and error to see what you tolerate…

We haven’t tested it, but the MD also thought he’d be safe with butter by now if we wanted to eat at a restaurant.  Insert all the !!!!!!!!

We have probably checked out 100 books-on-cd from the library at this point…thank goodness he doesn’t mind re-reading things over and over.  And over.

Another post appointment celebration at WF.  I got a poke bowl and seaweed salad.  Overpriced but good nonetheless.

I brought him hard boiled eggs but bought him a juice as a treat.  After all the carby pretzel snacks, it’s good to get him eating real whole foods.

We hadn’t even driven a block since leaving the WF parking lot and he was already ZZZZ…

I can’t emphasize enough how awesome he is as a patient.  Such a brave and patient boy.

He was still asleep when I got back to my parents’ house so I just hung out in the driveway (with the car’s AC on for him) until he woke up.  Since we had plans the next day in the East Bay we didn’t have to rush back to Davis.  P was happy to stay and play at grandma and grandpa’s rather than sit in traffic for the next few hours. 🙂

Roasted cauliflower, sausage, kale salad, focaccia, and sirloin for dinner.

That! salad!  I could eat on repeat for the rest of time, easy.

Miraculously, I kept my portion in check, so as to save some kale for the rest of the table. 😉

Just meant more room for dessert…

Kyle and I each went on a run the next morning.  I managed to shower without too much sibling fighting.

After getting ready we headed to Sideboard which I’ve been meaning to hit up ever since a location opened in Lafayette.

Ordering was a hard decision.

Dad’s chilaquiles on the left, mom’s eggs on the right.

Coffee bowl the size of my breakfast had cafe au lait with califia almond milk.

For food I got the home-made english muffin with two poached eggs and home-made preserves.

It was delicious and the portion was perfect.  I finished it all and felt full but not stuffed.

Kyle got the breakfast mac n cheese (!!!) and said the same.  It was gluttonous by nature of the order but the amount wasn’t obscene so it was great.  I brought food for P and V but my mom and I both snuck some food off our plates to my little girl.

Unfortunately, from there we had a bit of a scare.  I learned two key lessons: (1) P needs to really eat a solid amount of food before dosing and (2) at least for the first few days after updosing in the office he needs to remain truly inactive after his dose.  I had been pretty good about the first thing – I don’t give him milk until he has eaten a good proper meal.  But we’ve been pretty lax with the second, particularly after breakfast.  He goes to gymnastics and school and whatever else, sometimes a mere 15 minutes after finishing breakfast and getting dosed up.  For the first few days after updosing we need to really keep him from being too physically active.  He has had an issue once before, but not as serious as this time…we went to the lawn right in front of the restaurant to race paper airplanes after we’d all finished eating and on the way to the car I noticed he was off.  He was sneezing endlessly, and before we knew it he was totally congested.  My parents live close, so within minutes I gave him his albuterol inhaler and Zyrtec.  His wheezing stopped after that, but his body slowly broke out in hives and ended up completely covering his body.  Once his face puffed up I got nervous enough to call the MD.  He answered right away, told me what to do (another dose of zyrtec and pepcid) and fortunately it didn’t get any worse.  No epi, no vomiting. It’s a good reminder that this process is not riskless. P was pretty miserable until the zyrtec kicked in, which finally allowed him to breathe.

We had a play date planned but P wasn’t ready for that so Kyle went with V and the two of us stayed back and read books and did puzzles.

Once his hives were gone, I gave him a bath and then he helped me make lunch for everyone.

I’m trying to get him into tuna, so having him help me in the kitchen making some is step number one.  he tried a few bites just out of curiosity and even though I don’t think he liked it too much, he asked for more and loved the idea of dipping pretzels into it (duh).

Kyle’s turned into a tuna melt.  I had mine plain with avo and salty chips.

I don’t have any more pics from the evening, but it was a fun night at my sister’s.  Her husband-to-be grilled for us all and Marie had made an awesome spread of gluten free and dairy free fare, including cornbread muffins, bacon wrapped dates, strawberry spinach salad, and roasted green beans. And since we left before dessert she sent us home with chocolate brownies.  PS we made it til 8:45!!!  Without the kids melting down!  And thanks to the heaps of chips and guac P had over the course of the evening, before he even tackled the skirt steak, he had no issues with his dose. Phew!

The kids are pretty easily entertained at their place thanks to the swing set in the back yard, which is great since we are staying there the night before and night of their wedding.

We had dessert back at my parents’ house after getting the kids in bed.  It wasn’t too hard since they were both super ready to crash.  I laid in bed with P for a bit getting in extra snuggles and he fell asleep with me right then and there!

I made oatmeal for the kids the next morning and baked the leftovers into muffins (added an egg first) for myself after they were done.

Since we had all stayed up late the previous night, we actually got to kinda sleep in in the morning. V was up at 6:30 but then snuggled with Kyle on the couch for another hour or so in and out of sleep.  P and I got a similar snuggle sesh in – he got up to pee at 7, after which I pulled him into bed with me and we both fell back asleep until 7:45.  Livin’ the Sunday dream!

While the extra shut eye was super awesome, we didn’t get back on the road to Davis until way later than I was expecting so we were late for a play date with friends.  They also both slept part of the way so naps were a no go that day.

We spent the afternoon playing in the yard – busted out the pool for the first time this year!  And sprinklers too!  No more drought to worry about after the non stop rainy winter and spring we had.

At some point we made it to the store for groceries but otherwise it was a very low key afternoon.


My water babies.

At some point they changed out of their suits but then wanted to stay outside…and somehow we ended up doing naked bubbles.

I made skewers for dinner.  We had too much food and not enough skewers.  Mayj dilemma.

Threw some potatoes in the oven to bulk up the meal.

Kyle steered clear of the zucchini obviously, and in turn I gave all the red onions to him. Marriage!

Home-made ice cream takes FOREVER to thaw.  Anyone have tricks??  There must something in the store bought stuff that makes it melt quicker or something?

Maybe I need to figure out something that’s not the churning part of the ice cream maker to store it in (since you’re really not supposed to store it in that anyway)?  Ideas/suggestions welcomed.

The Bissinger’s bars were on sale for a more reasonable 3.99 per bar so I had to try this one.  I’ve tried the coffee crunch flavor before and this was just as good if not better.

The inside is filled with caramelized honey instead which is a nice twist on the typical caramel center of other bars.  The chili powder is subtle but there in a nice way that gets you every once in a while and while I am always looking for more nuts and seeds in my bars, I didn’t mind that the pepitas were underrepresented in this one.  It was a good bar that I’m happy I got on sale, because $6 is an obscene price for it otherwise.

But I’m not a chocolate snob, so for me the TJs raisin and pecan bar was actually the best of the bunch.

A new breakfast

Stop the presses, they aren’t eating oatmeal or pancakes!

Due to a combo of laziness on my part and boredom on their part, I decided it may be time to change up the breakfast routine for them.  I’ve been alternating batches of oats and pancakes for-eh-ver and while each is different depending on what add-ins I choose, it was high time for something truly new.  These GF waffles have been in the freezer since 2015 I think.  Or at least form back when P was still allergic to wheat.  So they shared those and some eggs and blueberries.

I’m glad it’s finally blueberry season again since they vanish by the mouthful in this house, but P told me today “don’t worry mama, I like all fruits” when they finished them off.

I had a couple of muffins with my java.  Still adding califia’s mocha almond milk to my coffee e.v.e.r.y. morning.  So that’s an unfortunately expensive addiction.

After dropping P at school I went to “school” with V.

It’s just a co-op play group (same one I did with P for a couple of years before he started proper preschool).

We usually pick up P on the way home but Kyle picked him up as a special treat, so V and I played in the backyard and did some gardening until he brought P home.

My biker chick is already tatted up.

Lunch time for them, followed by lunch time for me.  This week without mac nuts has been a very sad week indeed.

I’m basically compensating by adding an entire avo to my lunch.  And sometimes chips to get my salt fix.

Soccer seems to be his favorite sport, although it’s hard to tell for sure since he is into everything. V is begging to start too, so that’s probably not far off.

After soccer we swung home, grabbed Kyle, and drove to the East Bay for our usual pre-OIT night at my parents’ house.  We got food from WF, including hot dogs for the kiddos per P’s request. He was so grumpy (no naps!!) I was just pleased he even had an opinion so I went with it.  Combined with every veggie in my parents house it was a decent meal for being thrown together. I got so much zucchini I may have over done it, but don’t worry I still had room for chocolate a couple hours later.