Seriously…you’re joking, right?

I have a ton of random things – some are food related, but some aren’t – that I’ve been saving up to share with you.  They are rather amusing.  In my opinion, at least.

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Even though I come from a wine family, I still have issues with uncorking a bottle.  I wasn’t even drunk (yet), so I really have no excuse.

Almost every time we go grocery shopping Kyle convinces me we are out of frozen peas.  This weekend I cleaned and organized our freezer (wild Friday night, I know!) and discovered this.

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When I showed Kyle, he told me he was “saving up for a pea party.”  It was hard to take him remotely serious because he looked like this.

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He was in Vegas for the weekend (bachelor party) and let me shave his hair into a faux-hawk before he left.  Talk about trust!  He ordered clippers from amazon and I went at it (with zero experience in hair cutting whatsoever, mind you).

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Ummm, 27 pieces is a LOT of pieces.

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My first thought when I opened it all up was “hmmm…maybe I should have done some research?”  But I kept a poker face and let Kyle think it was no big deal.

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5 AM and Vegas bound.  He is now back in LA and still rocking the ‘hawk.  I wish I was joking.

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I bought this book the other day and am loving it.  Ellen is hilarious.  I recently read her wife’s book, too.  Apparently I’m really into lesbian autobiographies right now?  Oh, and if you’re going to make fun of me for that bookmark, it’s a joke.  Since I no longer ride the subway to work, I don’t have metro cards to hold my place as I read.  That one is about as cheesy as it gets (it has a puppy on it as well as a quote about friendship).

Is there anything less necessary than a QR code on a banana sticker?

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No seriously.  They’re joking right?

No such thing as too much pink.

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Don’t judge a loaf by it’s crust.

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Otherwise you might give this beauty the cold shoulder.

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And that would be a mistake.

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I’m not joking.

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I stopped breathing when I opened this box.  Charles David literally took my breath away.

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Have you ever???????

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The heels are almost 5 inches high.  Again, not joking.

Last – but definitely not least – happy food day!!!

[I basically celebrate this holiday every day, but why not go above and beyond today, right?!?]  If you really wanna treat yourself in the name of food, you can sign up for Lollihop’s monthly snack boxes.  The December boxes are going out soon and they have a very special surprise in store for the holidays.  I’m so excited to get it!!  Their entirely vegan boxes are in limited amounts though so you gotta strike while the iron is hot – just enter the Elise-hungryhippie when you checkout.

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23 thoughts on “Seriously…you’re joking, right?

  1. Sami

    the good news is, you can never have too many frozen peas ;)

    more power to ya with those shoes. i’d kill myself trying to walk in them…lol…but they’re fabulous!

    Reply
  2. carly

    hey, i found the “lesbian autobiographies” remark kind of offensive. the sexuality of ellen and portia is clearly not the most important thing about them. they are both vegans, passionate animal rights activists, portia spreads awareness about ED, ellen stands up for many different social issues… the fact that they are gay is not what solely defines them and i think it’s condescending to your readers to refer to their books as “lesbian autobiographies.”

    Reply
  3. Paige

    Loving the coordinating pink nails/shirt and hot Charles David heels! My boyfriend also makes me cut his hair for him…very nerve-wracking. Making a mohawk before I cut the whole shebang is always the fun part of that though. Our kit definitely does NOT have that many pieces in it though, holy crap.

    Reply
  4. Lindsay

    What an awesomely random post…love it! You are hilarious. The picture of the mangled cork is so funny.
    Love, love, love your blog : )

    Reply
  5. Natalcho @ Tomatoes Rock

    You seem to have a natural talent when it comes to haircuts – it looks pretty good for a first try! My hubby allowed me to cut his hair ages and ages ago when we were still in the beginning of our relationship. I also had no experience, kept the poker face but the result was a disaster:) Lucky for me he was too smitten with me to hold this little tiny mistake against me:)

    Reply
  6. Nikki

    Bahaha Love the mohawk!!! Oh my gosh and those shoes are AMAZING. Seriously, you are going to have heads flying in your directions when you wear those babies out!

    Reply
  7. Lou

    I admit to being a frozen-pea hoarder (it’s OK, Kyle). I love them though, I’m not ashamed. I am really really bad at uncorking wine bottles, also getting the lids off beer bottles (even when they are twist top???)

    My partner always decides to shave his head after a few beers…. makes for an amusing evening.

    HOT shoes, sister! I would be such a towering beast in those (I’m 5ft8 without shoes). Banana nut butter and bread is just the best combo – is that millet bread again?

    Reply
  8. Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli

    Don’t hate me, but I actually like the ‘hawk! :)

    I really need shirts/jackets with thumbholes…I always pull my sleeves down anyway!

    And although I would undoubtedly do myself bodily harm in those heels, I can appreciate a smoking hot pair of pumps! Gorgeous!

    Reply
  9. Emily

    Oh. my. word. Those shoes are perfection! Jealous.
    I couldn’t agree more- You can never have too much pink and ugly foods are usually the best. (:

    Reply
  10. Tt in nyc

    Kyle’s hair is amazing and really fabulous! I think it looks great and love the contrast of his schleppy sweatshirt with the trim hair! Do t know if this will sway you one way or another but every hipster in brooklyn has this haircut lately…..

    Reply
  11. Lara

    I love so many things about this post! The shoes are FABULOUS, and I can totally relate to the pea problem! Also, I love your pink. I did with you a happy birthday, right? I hope it was great!

    Reply

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